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What happens when you get brutally honest about your money story? When you stop hiding behind the pretty parts and share the messy, spiral-filled truth of how you've danced with dollars over the years?

Today's episode is different. No frameworks, no forecasting, no tips or tricks. Just the raw, unfiltered story of how money and I have waltzed through seasons of magical thinking, seasonal windfalls, avoidance patterns, and the humbling journey back to basics.

From inheriting two completely different money models from my parents to finding myself caught between worlds – helping others with their finances while completely avoiding my own.

In this episode...

👧🏻 How growing up with a CPA dad who spent freely and a methodical mom shaped my contradictory money patterns

🌊 The shwirl era – living van life, trimming weed, and trusting the universe while staying stuck in beautiful cycles

🌬️ Why seasonal windfalls from tax season became both a blessing and a trap that enabled years of avoidance

💸 The hidden costs of running a successful practice while still not tending your own money basics

🛠️ What it really looks like to rebuild from scratch when you choose soul alignment over financial security

🌉 How three income streams are supporting the transition while building something sustainable and aligned

Whether you're avoiding your money basics, stuck in feast-or-famine cycles, or rebuilding after a major life shift, this episode gives you permission to be exactly where you are. Because money stories are spirals, and every place on that spiral has its own wisdom and gifts.

Ready to see what's possible when you get honest about where you've been and intentional about where you're going?

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What happens when you strip away all the pretty frameworks and share the raw, unfiltered truth about your relationship with money? Today, I'm doing exactly that – taking you on the spiral journey of my money story, from magical thinking to seasonal windfalls to the humbling path back to basics.

If you've ever felt like your money story is messy, contradictory, or full of patterns that don't quite make sense, this one's for you. Because here's the thing – money stories are all about cycles, and wherever you are on your own personal spiral right now, it's totally okay.

The Foundation: When Two Money Models Collide

Growing up as a CPA's kid gave me an interesting front-row seat to the world of numbers and money fluency. But like most of us, I inherited not one, but two very different money models from my parents.

My dad embodied what I call the "magical money relationship." He spent freely, sometimes in ways that seemed careless or unhinged, but it always worked out. As a tax preparer, he knew that seasonal windfalls were always right around the corner. This taught me that money will come, that we get to have what we want, and that somehow it all works out if you're paying attention.

My mom, on the other hand, was methodical and intentional. She'd put pictures of goals in the bathroom so we could visualize them daily. She took my childhood savings bonds, invested them in the stock market, doubled them, and bought me a car for my 16th birthday. She showed me what's possible when you're disciplined, realistic, and play the long game.

From both of them, I absorbed this deep knowing that money doesn't have to be linear and that it will always work out. But I also inherited the tension between these two approaches – the free-flowing trust and the grounded planning.

The Shwirl Era: When Magic Becomes a Trap

After various jobs in fast food, grocery stores, and mortgage companies, I entered what I now call my "shwirl era." This was van life at its finest – a circuit of transformational festivals, weed trimming gigs, and hot springs recovery sessions.

At the time, it felt like pure abundance and magic. As soon as my money got low, someone would hit me up wanting me to come work. The synchronicity was real, and the trust in the universe felt unshakeable.

But looking back, I can see it was also a beautiful trap. This lifestyle was designed to keep me exactly where I was – never growing, never building toward wealth, never creating space to root deeper or build toward a future that could truly support me.

It was the perfect expression of my dad's influence: trust that there's always more money available, just go make it when you need it, spend however you feel like, and repeat. But there was no planning, no intentionality, no building toward anything bigger.

The Tax Years: Success with Hidden Costs

Eventually, around my Saturn return, I was ready to ground myself. I became a tax preparer, following in my dad's footsteps and creating what seemed like the perfect bridge between worlds.

I understood the tax world from growing up in it, and I'd just come from a community of alternative, creative people who desperately needed support with their finances. Artists charging by donation, people avoiding the system because they didn't understand how to plug into it, creatives staying smaller than they should be because they were crouched under a concrete ceiling.

The tax practice was incredibly fulfilling and financially successful. I was making really good money while serving people who truly needed my support. But here's where it gets interesting – I fell into another version of the same trap.

I got comfortable using credit cards freely, knowing I could bring them back to zero during tax season. I didn't set money aside for my own taxes because I made most of my money right before the tax deadline. I was teaching clients to do things I wasn't doing myself.

There was a dissonance, an incongruence between what I was teaching and how I was actually living. Even though it was a step up from weed trimming and I was making way more money, I didn't have much more to show for it. I was stuck on a Groundhog Day hamster wheel, just at a higher income level.

The Pivot: Choosing Soul Over Security

After my dad passed and I became a mama, everything shifted. Doing tax seasons while postpartum was doable but completely unsustainable. More importantly, nothing felt as desirable as hanging out with my new son, and doing taxes no longer made the cut.

I made the scary decision to let go of the practice and rebuild from scratch. A delusional part of me thought it would be a smooth transition – that all my clients would follow me into this new work. But it absolutely felt like starting over, and I'm still making my way back up financially.

Here's what's wild though – I'm making so much less money in this season of rebuilding, but I'm infinitely more fulfilled with the work I'm doing. It's a completely different kind of wealth and success.

The Reality of Rebuilding: Three Streams and New Foundations

Right now, I operate with three income streams, which I think more people need to talk about. You don't go from having an idea to having a business that supports you full-time overnight.

🌊 Stream One: My business income (not yet enough to cover all expenses, but growing)

💰 Stream Two: Payments from selling my tax practice (providing transition cushion)

🚀 Stream Three: My role as lead prompt engineer for True Self, an AI app that creates comprehensive soul prints using astrology, human design, and other systems

This three-stream approach takes the pressure off my passion business and lets it grow authentically without the weight of having to pay all my bills immediately.

The New Money Relationship: Intentional but Not Restrictive

Now I'm rebuilding with much more consciousness and intention. I pay off my credit cards every month (while still using them strategically for rewards). I have a solid record-keeping practice. I actually put money aside for taxes as income comes in, which means I usually get refunds as a self-employed person.

But here's what I'm not doing – living 100% within my means. That would never work for me. I still push the edges of what I can afford so I have space to grow into what's possible and what's coming in. It's a middle ground between my parents' influences - the freedom to stretch and the responsible foundation.

The Vision: Reliable Flow and True Liberation

I'm aiming toward having reliable flow through my business that covers my expenses and beyond. I want to embody both of my parents' influences – the freedom to splurge and push boundaries, as well as the responsible foundation that supports sustainable growth.

The big goal? Being able to liberate my husband. Not by hiring him into my company, but by making enough money that he has the freedom to choose his work without worrying about a bottom line. Right now he's working 40 hours a week, and I want him to have more time with our son.

The Truth About Money Stories

Here's what I want you to take away from all this: money is not something you fix once. It's a practice, a commitment you come back to again and again. That's exactly what I'm doing now – going back to basics, aligning with what I teach, and building a foundation that feels solid in a completely new way.

Wherever you are on your money spiral right now, it's okay. Whether you're in magical thinking mode, stuck in feast-or-famine cycles, avoiding the basics, or rebuilding after a major shift – you're exactly where you need to be in your story.

The key is getting honest about where you've been, owning where you are right now, and getting intentional about where you're going. Because that's how you transform patterns that aren't serving you into a relationship with money that actually supports your dreams.

Money stories are spirals, and every place on that spiral has its own wisdom and gifts. The magic isn't in avoiding the messy parts – it's in embracing the whole journey and using it all as fuel for what you're building next.